We all know what “Manny being Manny” is about.
But what about a more positive twist about someone being someone? What about Perk being Perk? Tonight, Perk needs to be Perk. For the series, we need Perk to be Perk.

Perk being Perk.

The Boston Celtics and the Orlando DwightHowards have split their season series 2-2; the first two games went to the Celts (with KG) and the last two went to the DwightHowards (1 without KG, 1 basically without KG).

• Game 1: 12/1/2008, Celts 107 – DwightHowards 88
  In 43 minutes, Dwight had 14 points on 5-12 shooting, 15 rebounds, 4 blocks, 3 turnovers, and only 1 foul. We shouldn’t fool ourselves about taking away rebounds and blocks from Dwight– he’s going to get his 15-4 and that is fine. He’s a great help defender on a team that really doesn’t play good defense. He’s going to get his 15+ boards because no one on the floor in blue/white goes into the paint and because he is a freak of nature that can leap over tall buildings in a single bound. If we can hold Dwight to having 15 DEFENSIVE rebounds, then we are in great shape. If Dwight starts racking up offensive boards and firing the ball back out to his perimeter-minded team, then we may have some problems.
• Game 2: 1/22/2009, Celts 90 – DwightHowards 80
  In 38 minutes, Dwight had 11 points on 4-10 shooting, 11 rebounds, 3 blocks, 4 turnovers, and 6 fouls. Seeing a pattern here? Contain Dwight’s points in the paint and you win. As well as Orlando shoots the ball, it won’t be raining threes all night long. They average almost 22 3pt attempts a game, which ranks first in the NBA. Orlando only makes about 35% of their 3s, which ranks 10th in the league– they’re not that good of a three-point shooting as many people think.
• Game 3: 3/8/2009, DwightHowards 86 – Celts 79
  The game was never really close, so Dwight only played 28 minutes. The Celts shot like crap this game (39% FG and an appalling 20% from 3-FG) and were never really in it. The offense wasn’t there. This game was an easy one for Orlando.
• Game 4: 3/25/2009, DwightHowards 84 – Celts 82
  This game featured KG playing 17 minutes and a dramatic comeback from a 3rd quarter 16 point deficit. The Celts chipped away at the lead to get it down to 1 point, but Pierce’s layup was blocked by none other than Superman with 4 seconds left in the game.

There is 1 thing that I noticed about Orlando’s 2 wins: the Celtics gave the games away to Orlando. Orlando didn’t win these games because they outplayed the Celtics, the Celtics just didn’t have it those days. Look, you can read Orlando like an open book: Dwight Howard can score at will if he gets within 3 feet of the basket (usually off a dunk– he had 201 this season) and they have a handful of decent outside shooters. Stop 1 of those two things and you have a victory. Easy as that.

Keep yelling, Stan. Keep yelling.

Did I also mention that Hedo Torkougly is still injured? That Rashard Lewis is still injured? That Courtney Lee is out from his sinus surgery (whatever that is)? That Stan Van Gundy is a terrible coach whose coaching philosophy revolves around yelling nonsensical phrases at his players in frustration instead of understanding how to make decisions that can get his team a win?

The Celtics just finished a grueling playoff series where they literally scraped out a victory against Chicago. They had to win by stepping up an infinite number of times, through clever coaching, and literally had to dig down to get to every last bit of energy to gut out the win.

The Magic are the ones in the position to be nervous, but certainly not the Celts. If Perk is Perk and can contain Dwight, get into your bomb shelters: the Magic will be dropping 3’s like there’s no tomorrow– statistically, we are ok with that move, Stan.

{ Endnote: are we guaranteed to play the teams with the UGLIEST players in the league? First the Bulls with Joakim, and now the Magic with Hedo? What about the Cavs… ? Delonte? Varajao? Z? Ugh, too many to list. }